Craic and Cracks

Saturday saw Roger, Mike and Gerry head to Ennistymon for the Cliffs of Moher Challenge, with Gerry giving the lads a (free) lift. Things didn’t exactly go to plan. While parked in a B&B, the back windshield of Gerry’s car had a teeny weeny bit of pressure applied to it (we’ll ignore how). That resulted in a tiny little crack at the base of the windshield. Really tiny. “Nothing to see here, folks. Move on, move on”.

Then the real cracks started. Open the car door – Crack. Close the car door – another Crack. Breath – Crack. Mike, ever the practical farmer, saw what was happening from the off, was knowledgeable and sympathetic, but was of no practical help whatsoever. As there wasn’t a rule to cover this situation, Gerry was helpless. Roger was Roger. The lads looked round to watch a couple of passing birds – more Cracking. Gerry started to sing the ‘Roll Over’ song, and the lads joined in on the chorus, “Roll, Roll, Roll Over, Roll Over, Roll On, Roll On”. Then the windscreen totally caved in.

Roger went to get some plastic bin bags from the B&B. Fortunately the bin bags were black, not white. We were able to cover the rear window with flapping bin bags. That way, Gerry’s BMW 520D, preserved its good looks and colour coordination (Rob will appreciate that). The lads were insistent that Gerry join them on the Ride, but Gerry was adamant that he was staying with the car. The lads went off.

Gerry went back to the B&B, and got the loan of a brush and pan, and a large bucket. Notwithstanding the bin bags, there were glass shards all over the back of the car. An hour and a bit later, Gerry returned the bucket to the owner, heavy with bits of sharp glass and blood.

The lads returned from their 80km Ride, with their own tales. We drove back with no rear windshield or bin bags, pretending to be posh, and driving a BMW Convertible. Mike sat in the back and got a pain in his neck. Roger was a pain in the neck. And Gerry had a pain in his head from the both of them.

There a saying “Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story”. So, in that vein, I’m going to let Mike Gleeson’s very funny version supersede the truth. Here goes, and this is all Mike’s.

‘…but the vague reports I’m getting back from Clare are that Gerry drove all 3 down. When they arrived in Ennistymon Gerry demanded diesel money, a row broke out and the two boys broke all the windows in Gerry’s car -Gerry sulked and went straight home; the two boys were arrested. When they eventually got bail all the stewards were gone home, the two boys got lost in the Burren; Paul Madden, doing a tour with a bus load of American tourists came to the rescue, getting the boys home in the early hours of Sunday morning. Might just be fake news..’.

And those are the alternative facts (brilliant).